This week I neglected some usual routines of mine, partly out of laziness but mostly out of necessity, for example, instead of the usual 4-6 days of training I only went once and didn’t leave the house that much at all. This took its toll on my mental health as well.
Usually, I don’t really concern myself with what other people think about me. I have my eyes set in the direction I want to go in, and that is enough. But recently I felt like that was harder and harder to do, in part because I’m on the single side of the population again, and I have a new group I’m not proficient handling (yet).
So I did what any reasonable self-help junkie would, and started to search the internet’s various pits, to find a book for my situation.
I stumbled upon countless pick-up artist books, but none of those really resonated with me. (I’m not going to memorise lines and force body language to manipulate people, sorry PUA community.)
Then I found the book labelled “the anti-PUA book” on reddit.
It was Models by Mark Manson. You might have heard about him, he has a huge blog and wrote several books, the biggest is probably The subtle art of not giving a fuck. So I approached with caution since I have seen bloggers trying to sell their posts as a book. Models was written well before his blog took off, so I got it on my Kindle and read away.
And I was completely caught off guard. This book was amazing.
It was truly the opposite of any pick-up book, it went straight against all the manipulation and tricks in those, and gave one universal value to rule your interpersonal relationships.
Honesty.
And it clicked with me right away. It communicated a frame of mind I never considered before (at least regarding dating). It was to not care about the outcome of the approach or the interaction. If you find a girl cute, go up to her and say hi, maybe compliment her aswell.
But don’t do it so she will think higher of you.
Do it because that’s what you think, and that’s what you want to do.
Her response is almost irrelevant in this since you had no ulterior motive. You had expressed yourself in an honest manner, and that’s the only important thing.
I liked this because of the simplicity of it. No tricks, no shortcuts, no bullshit.
The only thing in life you truly can control is yourself, so we all should start there.
As always, thanks for reading, and I hope to see you next time,
G